Melissa,
I am not going to say I'm sorry, you have heard that enough and it does not help. I know right now you don't understand the reasoning behind this, we never do. And when we get the chance to ask, well, it won't matter. I know you are a Christian, so you know that your husband is with Jesus now, running around Heaven. But that doesn't console you either. I promise though, that you will reach a point in time, when the pain doesn't lesson, it gets different. Your days don't run into each other, it becomes your new normal. I pray that God comforts you as I know He is, and that you draw your children close to you. You do not have to be strong all the time. You are a wonderful person and we love you dearly. My ear and shoulder are not far, my arms are always open. Take all the time you need to do what you need to do for you and your family. I promise, it will become bearable.
Love and hugs,
Denise Gerstner